Your 30-Second Restaurant Etiquette Guide (Including the Right Way to Instagram Your Dinner)

Etiquette expert Ben Schott answers your burning questions about refilling your own wine glass, how to 'gram your dinner, and more.
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Illustration by Ben Schott

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</head>Writer and Bon Appétit contributor Ben Schott knows his manners. In his new (and succinct) column, the author of Schott’s Original Miscellany offers up his essential etiquette for the restaurant enthusiast.

Can we take control of the wine and refill our own glasses?
Absolutely! Self-pouring is not only convivial, it regulates intake, eliminates Hovering Server Syndrome, and banishes heavy (upselling) measures. You reign, you pour.


Is it okay to get mad if you’re asked to wait a long time past your reservation?
Over 20 minutes? Yes. But don’t get mad—get comped: “As we’re having to wait, perhaps you’d like to offer us a drink?”


Must everyone be served before anyone can start eating?
The golden rule is “hot food hot.” If waiting eons means your food cools or congeals, dive in. Otherwise, chill out.


What are the rules that apply to food photography at the restaurant table?
Be subtle. Be stealthy. Be quick. Be quiet. No selfies. No selfie sticks! No fuss. No flash.


Have a restaurant etiquette dilemma? E-mail Ben at askba@bonappetit.com.