There's a question in the Proust Questionnaire, a famous personality quiz that manages to reveal so much with so little prompting: "Who are your favorite heroes in fiction?" And ours is, without a doubt: Tina Belcher. (Proust's was Hamlet, snore.) We've received so much wise advice from the "smart, strong, sensual" star of Bob's Burgers, such as "I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else." And "If boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses." And who could forget: "If we see any mermaids I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are."
So in honor of the show's 100th episode this week, we asked Tina about what it's like to live a day in her black-and-white sneakers with red-striped tube socks.
Tell us about your typical breakfast routine.
I like big buns and I cannot lie. Cinnamon buns. Also, I’m not allowed to drink coffee anymore, so I just stand near the coffee maker and breathe it in until my mom makes me leave for school.
What's the best date food, say, if you're having dinner with Jimmy Jr.?
A tongue sandwich. Just kidding. Pizza. Or something sensuous and spicy but not very farty.
What's your least favorite cafeteria food?
One time I found a chicken nugget baked inside a brownie. That was a personal low.
When you're helping out at the restaurant, what is your favorite task?
Marrying the ketchups. It’s so romantic.
Least favorite task?
Having to throw away spoiled vegetables. I feel like I’m shaming them.
What food should every 13-year-old know how to cook?
I make a pretty mean spoonful of peanut butter.
If you're making breakfast in bed for Linda, what would it be?
I’ll make her eggs daughter-y side up. Get it?
Who is the most famous customer to walk into Bob's Burgers?
Pink Floyd. He’s an old surfer who never uses sunscreen.
If someone's making you birthday cake, it better be...
A birthday cake and not some kind of joke cake filled with chili.
The 100th episode of Bob's Burgers airs Sunday, May 22 at 9:30/8:30 CT p.m. on FOX